Grieving and the grieving process itself is a very personal thing. Different individuals do it in many different ways. Some people that are exceedingly upset look perfectly calm and appear to have a handle on things, emotions included. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors however. And whatever is going on inside someone’s mind, no matter what others see on the outside, is something only the individual can know for sure… And sometimes not even then. However you grieve, it’s important to know that grieving is a process and it is perfectly okay. It’s acceptable. It’s fine. It’s something we all need to do at some point in our lives. It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you a sissy, it makes you human. Depending on how devastating whatever caused your grief might be, you may seriously consider looking into some type of grief support to get you through the rough spots.
These are despicable words muttered by only the weakest individuals that cannot themselves cope with life on a whole. It is absolutely, positively okay to cry. You are not prevented from crying because you are a man, or woman, a child, what have you. Grief is experienced by everyone and everyone must deal with it in their own way, on their own terms and within their own time frame. Of all the grieving steps, and there are handful, crying is the most natural, basic instinct. Sometimes it is delayed by shocker disbelief but eventually, chances are, we all cry. Get away from everyone else if you feel oddly about crying in public. Throw on some dark glasses, take a walk in the woods, jump in your car and drive to a strange destination, stand in the shower until you turn into a prone but cry your heart out for as long as it takes. Now it’s time to focus on the rest of the grieving process.
The Grieving Process
This, once again, is a little different for everyone but the basics are relatively the same. These are in no particular order:
? Whether it takes a couple of minutes, days or weeks you must fully realize, comprehend and recognize the fact that something has happened. There has been a loss. There has been some form of devastation for which you must grieve.
? You must allow yourself to give into the feelings and emotions that grief inspires. Once you have begun to feel the grief it’s time to express it – this is where the crying can come in.
? Eventually it’s going to be time to begin a period of adjustment. You are now living without something or someone that has probably been a huge part of your life for a long time. Nothing will be the same again and you need to not only realize it but do whatever you need to do in order to adjust to it.
The grieving process can take literally years, depending on how much trouble you have dealing with your grief. Problems that some individuals encounter consist of anxiety or depression, not having enough time to recover from your loss, if a death has occurred in a violent or unexpected manner, if the person or thing lost was exceedingly special or unique to the individual grieving, and of course if the person grieving has had more than one loss recently this could start building up into something far more serious than the simple grieving process.
Some people, if they have a problem crying, put on one of the saddest movies they’ve ever seen in their lives and just let nature take its course. Don’t forget your Kleenex.